Monday, August 30, 2010

Witty Professor - Part 4

  1. Courtesy: if You can understand, You will understand

  2. On marks for CP – “Oh you are trying for CP.. In class of 90 you should really look like a CLOWNfor me to identify you..sometimes when I go to the market I can see people staring at me.. then I think, oh this guy may be in my class … what are you talking of CP”
  3. Explaining inventory management – “This is against your operations where you say decrease inventory, decrease wip, all those Japanese terms … neither you are Japanese, neither faculty is Japanese, neither you are in japan … but still you read about these Japanese terms”
  4. Student stands at the door and asks for permission – Prof -”They are standing there as if they are so obedient … as if they don’t do anything without my permission … if they see me in the corridor they don’t care … might be they expect me to say ‘don’t come in’ “

    Student runs towards his chair after entering the class
    Prof – “Walk in the corridor run in the class”
  5. On investment bankers/consultants- Prof -
    “They have been advised by an investment banker … probably a business graduate”
    “By showing a higher value investment banker would create his own value”
    On investments bankers report of a company – Prof – “Generally they build a spiral of 30-40 pages … you need another consultant to understand the report …. just like your assignments”
    “If I put it bluntly I would say .. ‘He acts like a pimp’ …. *pause* … How many of you want to become an investment banker … your dream job is to join an investment firm … that is a pimp house”
  6. Relating mergers and acquisitions with boy and girl relationship – “You look at a girl for the first time … and find this is the girl that i need … (do) you start evaluating her?”
    Class starts giving answers on what the boy should do …
    Prof -”See the CP … there was not even one guy when I asked for the story in the case”

    “Boy will say .. -’your father is my father-in-law, he is my father … i will not touch liquor, i will stop smoking … but after marriage you will not allow father-in-law to come in that street’
  7. On student saying Goodwill is the additional savings of merger – “Synergy is a child born out of marriage … why will buyer of this firm pay for the child before hand … you get married you have a child .. god knows whose child it is”
  8. On no response for a question on the case – Prof – “When you come to subject there is silence”
  9. On student not accepting profs argument – Prof – “This is the problem with MBA students … even if they are wrong it is very difficult for them to accept it”
  10. While mentioning generosity towards Shareholders using LIFO/FIFO,
    Prof – “Bollywood actress becoming generous on a magazine page .. what difference does it make?. No material benefit”
  11. On all reasons by students failing – Prof – “These are justifications that are flying out of the window”
  12. On assignments – Prof – “That too 15 copies will have the same numbers … as if I am doing an imposition”
  13. On students not able to remember the numbers in the assignment – “You are like gajini … you don’t remember what you did in the morning …. *relating memory to quizzes* … it is easy for us to correct … first of all they don’t know such a subject exists … if they have good memory they will know the subject but will not remember the what he wrote in the quiz … if someone comes with a query … you should appreciate his confidence on his memory and give him marks”
  14. Referring to the institute – “Will you say all the goods that go out of ### are finished goods … some of them go out as absolute raw materials”
  15. On student arguing about ethics – Prof – “If you deeply think about ethics you cannot be in a business school .. i am sorry that you got in ”
  16. Reg Mentioning of LIFO to FIFO, faculty asked how should we inform the share holders reg that.
    Student – “Very Few people will read the notes sir”
    Prof – “Very few people have read this case also…”
  17. “You hate this accounting subject and wen u join a company, U will close the Accounts department as such…”

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