.
Showing posts with label sardar jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sardar jokes. Show all posts
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
SARDARJI RETURNS
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Super Comedy ( Non-Mallus.Please excuse !!! )
Hotel aanennu karuthy computer labil kayariya vridhan:Puttundo?
Appol attender:Inputum outputum....
Appol vridhan:randum oro platingu poratte....
.
.
.
Tintumon frm UKG B
tintuon: Achaa ishtika odumo?
achan: ninodara ee mandatharam oke paranje
tintumon: Alla!! varunna vazhik oru board kandu.. "ISHTIKAYUM ODUM
.
.
Oraal sardarji'yodu: " ningal verum vayattil ethra chappati thinnum?.."
sardar ji: "6 ennam!"
ayaal: "u fool! 1 thinnu kazinjal pinney verum vayaraakumo..?"
. . . . .
sardarji veettil poyi wife'inodu: "Nee verum vayattil ethra chapatti thinnum..?..."
wife: ''4 ennam!"
sardarji: "sho!!.. 6 ennam aarnenkil oru thamaasha ondayirunnu!.."
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
innocent jokes
just jokes.. person doesn't matter........
Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.
When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u
know what the business was? . . . .. . . . . .. . . He opened a Saloon
in
Punjab!
A Sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral
function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said
"SMILE PLEASE"
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on
the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardarji: "I've been
promoted
as branch manager."
Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth................. Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner
should be light"
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know
Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will
come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come
first.
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he
was driving..
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in
the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just
says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of
friends
last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His
wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while
sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess
what...---To avoid side effect!!!
Man: Sardarji where were u born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".
IN COURT during a case:
Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke
Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab
kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don't know how
she got my number, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says
"please
recharge your card"
Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.
When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u
know what the business was? . . . .. . . . . .. . . He opened a Saloon
in
Punjab!
A Sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral
function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said
"SMILE PLEASE"
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on
the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardarji: "I've been
promoted
as branch manager."
Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth................. Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner
should be light"
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know
Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will
come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come
first.
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
Sardar's wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he
was driving..
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in
the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just
says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of
friends
last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His
wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while
sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess
what...---To avoid side effect!!!
Man: Sardarji where were u born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".
IN COURT during a case:
Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke
Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab
kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don't know how
she got my number, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says
"please
recharge your card"
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sardar Difference
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their
trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Pakistani was soon led away whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,"
Sardar replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
"And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back"
!!! JAI HIND!!!!!!!!!!!!
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their
trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Pakistani was soon led away whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,"
Sardar replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
"And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back"
!!! JAI HIND!!!!!!!!!!!!
sardar rockks!
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin. Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater. Again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!
19 sardars went for a film.On asking them why they came in a big group of 19, they replied that the film is only for above 18+..
A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function. Suddenly all relatives beat him. Why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardar: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.........WHY? Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!
Sardar and his family went for a party. He introduces himself - I'm sardar,she sardarnee, the boy my kid & the girl my kidney....
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor. At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25th floor: I'm unmarried! At 10th floor: I'm Banta not Santa
On a romantic date sardar's girl friend asks him "Darling on our engangement will you give me a ring? He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?
A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a air cell phone but still hutch network is following me.
sardar sindabaad
Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 crore after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs back.!
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.
Sardar:- why did u come so far? Instead u could have posted it....
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
Sardar proposed a girl......Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elder to you'. Sardar said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you nest year.
Why can't sardars dial nine-eleven (911) at emergency? Becoz, they can't find the eleven on the phone.
Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop. Sardar says: Drink quickly. Wife asks: why?? Sardar says: hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10.
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll you divide, you've 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply next year.
Sardar's wish: when i die, i wanna to die like my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving....
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
Flash news: A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab. Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man says "Chin Yu Yan" and dies. Sardar goes to china to find meaning of friends last words. It is "you're standing on the oxygen tube!!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked: what you are doing? He said: i'm seeing how i look while sleeping.
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels,
but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his asked why he did so? "It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "to start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also about its beginning.
sing is kingg :)
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.
Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'
Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.
'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'
The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'
The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.
Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'
Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.
'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'
The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'
race to the sun!
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."
"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."
"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
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