Tuesday, March 31, 2009

[Hilarious] - And then the fight started

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
So, I took her to a gas station..
And then the fight started...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Naaah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
A woman is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started..... .
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that
I should get it fixed..
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first:
the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a
'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the
And then the fight started...

Monday, March 30, 2009

2 harihar nagar


Unnam Marannu thennipparann Song Remix

Ekantha CHandrikeee

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Sagar Alias Jacky - Movie Review

Review-Sagar alias Jacky
Mohanlal's highly hyped "stylish action thriller" Sagar alias Jacky- Reloaded directed by Amal Neerad, is all style and no substance!

This film promised to be the mother of all stylish films made in India. But sadly, director Amal Neerad clearly lacks a story and the skills required to turn that idea into an engaging film.

There is a sense of déjà vu as Amal has rehashed certain scenes, locations and characters from his earlier Big-B, and the end product looks like it has fallen off straight from the assembly line of stylized gangster movies like Musafir, Billa, D Company etc.

Where is the story Mr. S.N Swamy? Sagar alias Jacky (Mohanlal) is an international operator who outsmarts rivals like Naina (Suman) through his guts and determination and always emerges triumphant. However he has a problem to be sorted out in Kerala, where the Chief Minister's (Nedumudi Venu) son-in-law, a good for nothing guy and his childhood friend Manu (Manoj.K.Jayan) is kidnapped. Manu's wife Indu (Shobhana), finds that the Kerala Police is dragging its feet over it as their loyalty is with her elder brother Hari (Ganesh), a budding politician who wants to inherit his fathers political legacy.

Indu requests Sagar to bring back her husband who is held in Goa by the notorious gangsters Rozario brothers (Tamil villain Sampath, and the long haired bearded guy who played main villain in Big-B). Sagar flies in to Kochi, in his personal jet along with his 4 member gang.

They take on the Rozario brothers; rescue Manu which leads to more trouble with a host of baddies like Rahul Dev and ends with a final shoot out in a resort. For some romance and songs there is a television news reporter Aarathy Menon (Bhavana), who tries to investigate and expose Sagar and ends up falling in love with him and paying a prize.

At times you get the feeling that Swamy has remade his K.Madhu directed Irupatham Nootandu, which was a far better entertainer. In fact, this film is the perfect example of the new style of film making being followed by young directors in south fed on Hollywood and Bollywood DVD's. First decide and design action sequences, exotic locations, costumes and then write the story around that.

It's an opportunity lost, as Mohanlal the most flexible actor in Indian cinema is asked to look wooden and walk throughout wearing designer coats and leather jackets, which after a point of time becomes predictable or plain boring and agonizingly snail-paced. Jagathy Sreekumar is wasted while Jyothirmayee's item dance fails to sizzle.

Added to that the director has employed the regular technique used by Ram Gopal Varma, Sanjay Gupta and others to make their film look stylish - ramping technique, wide-angle lenses, top angle shots, sepia-toned photography, sharp cuts and a jarring loud background fearless, edgy action thriller is ultimately only a half-decent enterprise because it lacks a strong story. You can watch it only because it's a new format but for most parts prepare to be seriously bored.

Verdict- Average

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Robbys Night







Robby's Night

True Story Worth Reading !!!

At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a former elementary school music teacher from Des Moines , Iowa . I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability.. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy though I have taught some talented students...

However I've also had my share of what I call 'musically challenged' pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.

But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel but he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, 'My mom's going to hear me play someday.' But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability.. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.

I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the student's homes a flyer on the upcoming recital.. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital.
I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing 'Miss Hondorf, I've just got to play!' he insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital... Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece.. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my 'curtain closer.'

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed, then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. 'Why didn't he dress up like the other students?' I thought. 'Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?'

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age...... After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Rob by in joy. 'I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it? '

Through the microphone Robby explained: 'Well, Miss Hondorf, Remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning and well. .. She was born deaf so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special.'

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy . . Of Robby's. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995. And now, a footnote to the story.

If you are thinking about forwarding this message, you are probably thinking about which people on your address list aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. The person who sent this to you believes that we can all make a difference. So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we act with compassion or do we pass up that opportunity and leave the world a bit colder in the process?

You have two choices now:

1.. Delete this...

2. Forward it to the people you care about.

You know the choice I made. Thank you for reading this.

May God bless you today, tomorrow and always.


If God didn't have a purpose for us, we wouldn't be here!














The hidden pleasures of office culture

The hidden pleasures of office culture Alain de Botton

As some of us clear our desks for the last time, and many more of us look around with new gratitude at our workstations, we should pause to appreciate the intense, rarely mentioned and often denigrated pleasures that are involved in going to the office.

The fashionable move, of course, is to mock the office. Artists are particularly prone, largely because they never go there and secretly envy those who do. If you went by most novels written today, the only things humans do is fall in love and, occasionally, murder one another — whereas, of course, what they really do is go to the office and sleep. The office lends us an identity: we only need to look at our business cards to confirm that we are (let’s say) a marketing unit senior manager rather than a vaporous transient consciousness in an incidental universe.

Watch anyone halfway competent at work and it’s hard to do anything other than respect them. In our age, levels of commitment that in previous societies were devoted to military adventures and religious intoxication have been channelled into numerical, legal and managerial needlework. In the olden days, home used to be the place of kindness and refuge while the workplace was cruel and blunt. Now the equation is often reversed. How politely we tend to behave at work, next to the insults we throw at one another at home, where there is no human resource department to coax us into being more civilised.

Nowadays workers have to be “motivated,” meaning they have — more or less — to like their work. So long as workers had only to retrieve stray ears of corn from the threshing-room floor or heave quarried stones up a slope, they could be struck hard and often, with impunity and benefit. But the rules had to be rewritten with the emergence of tasks whose adequate performance required their protagonists to be, to a significant degree, content, rather than simply terrified or resigned. The new figures of authority must involve themselves with childcare centres and, at monthly get-togethers, animatedly ask their subordinates how they are enjoying their jobs so far. Responsible for wrapping the iron fist of authority in a velvet glove is, of course, the human resource department.

Contrived as these rituals may seem, it is the very artificiality that guarantees their success for, the laboured tone of group exercises and away-day seminars allows workers to protest that they have nothing whatsoever to learn from submitting to such disciplines. Then, like guests at a house party who at first mock their host’s suggestion of a round of Pictionary, they may be surprised to find themselves, as the game gets under way, able to channel their hostilities, identify their affections and escape the agony of insincere chatter. Power has not disappeared entirely in modern offices; it has merely been reconfigured. It has become matey. It is by posing as regular employees that executives stand their best chances of preserving their seniority.

Office work distracts us, it focusses our immeasurable anxieties on a few relatively small-scale and achievable goals, it gives us a sense of mastery, it makes us respectably tired, it puts food on the table. It keeps us out of greater trouble.

(Alain de Botton’s new book, The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work, is published by Penguin.) — © Guardian Newspapers Limited, 2009

Courtesy : The Hindu

An article from Rediff.com: CPM duplicity in Kerala

NOTE: If anyone has any reservation about the contents of this article, direct them to rediff.com or TVR Shenoy (author). Its just a ctrl-c ->ctrl-v job from me...

Archbishop Daniel Acharuparambil, president of the Kerala  Catholic Bishops' Council, is a busy man. Yet apart from his pastoral duties he has found enough time to pore over the list of Congress candidates. To such effect apparently that he was able to send a list of four Catholics to Sonia Gandhi who, in the Varapuzha Archbishop's considered opinion, deserved to get the Congress ticket from certain select constituencies.

If the good shepherd ever finds respite from tending his pet lambs he might, perhaps, ponder over a text somewhat removed from party politics. The Gospel of Matthew to be precise, which quotes Jesus Christ as saying, "Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's."

[Should the Archbishop be a trifle pressed for time with other matters in the run-up to the general election, I believe the line appears in the twenty-second chapter of the Gospel.]

A general election falls in the secular realm of the Caesars, does it not? Why then did the Archbishop choose to shatter the line between Church and State? Is this the famous 'secularism' which the Congress, the Communist Party of India-Marxist, and their allies are swearing to protect from the talons of the Bharatiya Janata Party?

This is scarcely the first time that the Roman Catholic Church has attempted to play a part in political matters. The government of Kerala had set up a Law Reforms Commission under the chairmanship of Justice V R Krishna Iyer. The commission made several proposals, and the Kerala Catholic Bishops' Council was quick to oppose some of them. Stephen Alathara, spokesman for the council, said the Catholic Church could never accept the recommendations for refusing concessions to parents with more than two kids, to permit euthanasia, and to do away with the provision that makes suicide a crime.

Population control, the right to die, and the decriminalisation of suicide are matters that affect non-Catholics? What, exactly, gives the Catholic clergy the right to dictate to the rest of us?

The recommendations of the Kerala Law Reforms Commission must await the end of the general election, so that is a battle for another day.

Although the Varapuzha Archbishop has caught most of the flak, he was scarcely alone in sending advice to 10, Janpath in Delhi . I understand that there were at least two others who offered advice.

One of them tried to veto a certain Congress candidate on the ground that the said candidate had married a non-Christian.

Forget 'secularism' and 'communalism', this is pure idiocy! Did the man even think of the person to whom he was addressing that letter before putting ink on paper? Sonia Gandhi was born a Catholic but she herself married a non-Christian, did she not? (One can argue over whether the late Rajiv Gandhi was a Parsi, through his father, Feroze, or a Hindu through his mother, Indira, but there is certainly no Christian on the family tree.)

Was it this last epistle that turned the scales? We shall probably never know but, to give credit where it is due, Sonia Gandhi ignored both the recommendations by two bishops and the objection of the third.

May I point out that this is one instance where the Congress leadership comes over trumps over its Left Front counterparts?

While releasing the CPI-M election manifesto, party General Secretary Prakash Karat  made the usual thundering denunciation of "communalism". All very well good, but the BJP is not a force in Kerala, so the CPI-M general-secretary made it a point to single out the Muslim League.

Comrade Karat described the Muslim League as the most communal party in Kerala -- some reports said he made it the worst in India! -- and vowed to uproot it.

If the archbishop who spoke of "marriage to a non-Christian" was being silly, Karat was being utterly hypocritical. In order to take on the Muslim League in its strongholds the CPI-M has joined hands with a group called the People's Democratic Party.

Despite the innocuous name the PDP is a creation of Abdul Nasser Madani, the man charged in connection with the Coimbatore blasts. Though he was acquitted in that particular case the police are now investigating possible links between Madani and certain militants in Jammu & Kashmir. (According to reports, terrorists linked to the Lashkar-e-Tayiba  and the Indian Mujahideen claimed that they had been in contact with members of Madani's family.)

Kerala's Left Front Home Minister Kodiyeri Balakrishnan said there would be no new probes against Madani as all the new reports are related to old events. This prompted former chief minister Oomen Chandy to point out the obvious: "Malayali militants get killed in Kashmir, a clandestine meeting takes place in Aluva, and militants hold a training camp in Vagamon. But still the home minister does not view any of these as new."

Incidentally, the CPI and the CPI-M certainly do not see eye to eye on Madani and his People's Democratic Party. CPI General Secretary A B Bardhan has specifically denounced Madani's group as "communal". This comment, by the by, came on the very day that the CPI-M party boss in Kerala, Pinarayi Vijayan, shared the platform with Madani at an election meeting.

Sections in the 'secular' media are baying for Varun Gandhi's  head, asking the BJP to dissociate itself from its candidate. How much criticism have you heard about the blatant interference in politics of the Roman Catholic clergy in Kerala, or of the CPI-M's hobnobbing with a party that even the CPI denounces as "communal"? Or is it only Hindus and the BJP that must always prove their adherence to 'secularism'?

Driving in India- Hilarious one

An Expert who works in BAAN, Netherlands who spent two years in
Hyderabad, wrote this hilarious article.

Driving in India For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting
India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for
survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar,
where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you
do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints
are as follows:

Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both".
Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In
that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed
by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just
trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to
road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality.

Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended
direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except
for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better

Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross
the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.
Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is
moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town.

Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill
of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn
to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two
brisk blasts), or, just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.

Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them
during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or
waiting for the rainwaters to recede when over ground traffic meets
underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored
lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated
bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at
breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw
and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external
combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote.

This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers
three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After
careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into
these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in
contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are
Pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions
with other vehicles
on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral
children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of
motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules
depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like
an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels
at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a
ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they
would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are
often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and
during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers
hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the
overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying
laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many
Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of
these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in
their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and
proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you
cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive, as you like, in
reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical,
I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential
areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each

This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that
residence and is left un-tarred for easy identification by the
corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for
year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for
those with the mental makeup of Chenghis Khan). In a way, it is like
playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the
drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns
out to be a truck attempting a speed record? On encountering it, just
pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink
your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is
the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at
the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a
naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to
kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six
feet above the ground.
This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single
light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get
too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of
course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.

During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers
will never show any Signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals;
they are the greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the
cleaner who sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave
hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a
left-turn. The waving is just a statement of physical relief on a hot day.

If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons
between 8 pm and 11 am when the police have gone home and - The citizen
is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in our constitution.

Having said all this isn't it true that the accident rate and related
deaths are less in India compared to US or other countries. !!??

Miss South Sudan Beauty Contest - Ensoiii !!! ;)

Coming Sooooooooon....

WWF SWITCH OFF: 28th March, 2009 Hrs: 2030-2130

Tuesday, March 24, 2009




In a poor zoo of India , a lion was frustrated as he was offered not
more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager
visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to
the US Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c
environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also. On its
first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very
nicely for breakfast.

The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained
few bananas. Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much
for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently
shifted from India .

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same
food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at
him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's
wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you
delivering bananas to me?'

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the
jungle but  ... Did you know that you have been brought here on a
monkey's visa!!

Moral of Story:
     Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey
elsewhere !!! (This is new) !!!!!




Super Comedy ( Non-Mallus.Please excuse !!! )


Hotel aanennu karuthy computer labil kayariya vridhan:Puttundo?

Appol attender:Inputum outputum....

Appol vridhan:randum oro platingu poratte....





Tintumon frm UKG B
tintuon: Achaa ishtika odumo?

achan: ninodara ee mandatharam oke paranje

tintumon: Alla!! varunna vazhik oru board kandu.. "ISHTIKAYUM ODUM

Oraal sardarji'yodu: " ningal verum vayattil ethra chappati thinnum?.."

sardar ji: "6 ennam!"

ayaal: "u fool! 1 thinnu kazinjal pinney verum vayaraakumo..?"

. . . . .

sardarji veettil poyi wife'inodu: "Nee verum vayattil ethra chapatti thinnum..?..."

wife: ''4 ennam!"

sardarji: "sho!!.. 6 ennam aarnenkil oru thamaasha ondayirunnu!.."


Luck matters, also the performance.

Luck matters ;-)

With a pile of 300 resumes on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on the bottom 50 and toss the rest. "Throw away 250 resumes?" I asked, shocked.
"What if the best candidates are in there?"

"You have a point," he said. "But then again, I don't need people with bad luck here."

                                                     - Becky Horowitz(Reader's digest)


Performance & Position ;-)

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.
God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?
The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai!
God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven...
Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.
God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven...
'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?'
'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.
'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED' It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.

Monday, March 23, 2009


 In 1980, IDBI bank rejected loan for Ambani.

In 2008, Mukesh Ambani was planning to buy IDBI bank.

this shows nothing is impossible...

now in 2009, HDFC bank rejected loan for me...

but in 2020, I'm planning to....


Apply for loan again!




L o v e b e a t s



How to make woman happy..


It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a phsiotherapist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate


45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls



51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


OneSmall Smile

Is it really so simple!!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009



Stuart, sadly was born without ears. Although successful in  business this problem annoyed him greatly. One day he needed to hire a new  manager for his company. He set up three interviews.  The first man  was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting. But at  the end of the interview, Stuart asked him, "Do you  notice anything  different about me?" "Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice  that  you  have no ears," came the reply. Stuart did not appreciate his candour and threw  him out of the office.

 The second interview was with a woman, and  she was  even better than the first bloke. But he asked her the same question:  "Do  you notice anything different about me?" "Well," she said   stammering,  "you have no >ears." Stuart again got upset and chucked her out  in a rage. 

The third and final interviewed was the best of the  bunch, he was a young man who had recently earned his BSc(Hons). He was  smart. he was handsome, and he seemed to be a better  businessman than the first two put together. Stuart was  anxious, but  went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you   notice  anything different about me?" And much to his surprise, the young  man  answered, "Yes, you wear contact lenses, don't you?" Stuart was   shocked  and realized this was an incredibly observant person. "How in the  world  did  you know that?", he asked. The young man fell off his chair laughing  hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f***ng ears!"







Don't Copy if you can't paste !

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said, 'The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!'
The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added, '... and that woman was my mother!' Laughter and applause.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink, and he said loudly, 'The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!'
His wife went red with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out '... and I can't remember who she was!'
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

'Great' Writer!!! :)

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.

When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.


Monday, March 16, 2009

Welcome to Pakistan ..the most unique place on earth!

Some things can happen only in Pakistan :P

17 rules between Men and Women :D

 1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any given time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks ackbone, and is a wimp.

16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5




Monday, March 9, 2009






Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years,

reunited at a party.


After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest

room. Those who remained talked about their kids.


The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started

working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.


He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon

began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the

president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his

best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."


The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also

my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and

then went to flight school

to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the

company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so

rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his



The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied

in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he

started his own construction

company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away

something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his

birthday: A 30,000 square

foot mansion."


The three friends congratulated each other just as the

fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all

the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were

talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our

sons. ...What about your son?"


The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living

dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."


The three friends said: "What a shame...what a



The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son

and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His

birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful

30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the

line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!!!!



Thursday, March 5, 2009

Funny Fwd: "Useful: Alternative Keyboard"

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: someone
Date: Thu, Mar 5, 2009 at 8:31 PM
Subject: Fwd: Useful: Alternative Keyboard

An alternative keyboard in Windows -
In case your keyboard or some keys stop working,
windows provide you with an alternative way to type in using the mouse.

To work this tool go to 'Start menu'
Then Select 'Run'
Type in 'OSK'

Press OK

A keyboard will appear that you can use as normal keyboard.
I didnt know this..so thought of sharing..


the person who sent the mail didn knew this./.... thats really funny!!!!! :P


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Headings in Pak Media..Hilarious.. :)

Indian News Papers reported the following headings in today's News papers:


Hindu:                     "Terrorists attack Sri Lankan Cricket team in Lahore"

ToI:                        "Neighborhood Just Got Scarier"

Indian Express:         "Terror Hits Lanka Team; Wounds Pakistan & Cricket"

Deccan Herald:         "Six Sri Lankan Cricketers hurt in Lahore terror attack"


Their counter parts across the border ran the following news articles on their front pages:


Pakistan Express:     "Falling standards in Terrorists Training???"


Lahore 03 March 2009: In the worst ever performance by their home grown and trained terrorists, all the visiting Sri Lankan cricket team members left Pakistan shore alive. Govt officials expressed concerns about this as it would tarnish the image of Pakistan as a breeding ground of terrorism and their credibility to produce world class terrorists has taken a beating. Govt asked the PSU (Public Sector Units) terrorists groups to improve the training standards and urged the terrorists to take their training and careers seriously.


Prime Minister later during dinner with the participating terrorists chided them mildly that they cannot waste tax payers/US federal Aid money like this. He was particularly harsh on the terrorist who threw under the bus (carrying cricketers), the grenade which did not detonate. Prime Minister worried that this did not do any good to his plans of changing Pakistan National game from Cricket (which anyway is having its natural death) to Hand Grenade Throwing. He felt that this was the best bet for Pakistan's aspiration for an Olympic Gold Medal. He urged erstwhile Pakistan cricket bowlers – Shoaib Akhtar and others, who are famous for throwing instead of bowling, to take up coaching terrorists on grenade throwing as their cricket careers are finished now….



Pakistan Times:   "Chinese imports are no longer reliable??"


Pakistan Government ordered a high level delegation consisting of all ammunition experts under the leadership of A Q Khan (father of the Nuclear Plans), to study the unexploded grenade for the reasons why it did not perform expected duties. The hand grenade clearly had visible 'Made in China' logo on it, which embarrassed Chinese Government. Chinese Premier issued a public apology to Pakistan People for failing to live up to their expectations and vowed to strengthen their R&D and manufacturing facilities to re-instill the confidence in consumers.


Pakistan Prime Minister in a later press release mentioned that he would re-consider renewing Chinese contract for annual supply of ammunition, which is due for renewal in April. Unless China proves that they have taken stringent measures to ensure that the reliability of their ammunition is certified by their government, Pakistan would consider approaching other sources for their annual staple supply of ammunition…



Dawn:  "Visiting Sri Lankan cricketers return to their country, Alive"


There was all round disappointment reported across Pakistan that all the members of the visiting Sri Lankan cricket team returned alive, denting the image of Pakistan as most the happening country in the world (for wrong reasons). People staged protests on streets and demanded government for the "falling return on Investment of ammunition." They are also worried that this would set a bad precedence and foreigners may choose to visit Pakistan without any fears.


The betting racket reportedly lost a billion Pakistan Rupees as everyone expected all the visiting team members to be killed. This also had tax collection implications for government.


Government later issued a public apology to people and assured them that they would take sufficient measures to ensure that they are accountable for every Pakistan rupee being spent on training terrorists. They also urged more youngsters to take to guns as this would make the career as terrorists much more competitive and Pakistan can continue producing abundant supply of world class terrorists.


When the initial news of attack was shown live on their national news channels, all the people came to street and started bursting crackers. Their joy was short lived when the attack stopped in 25 minutes and they took the crackers back to their homes so that they can use it for next opportunity, which anyway should not be too far away.


Some of those Pakistanis who still have a job and left for offices in the morning and hence missed the 'Live action' on TVs, rued their luck for having to work while majority of their brethren enjoy these live actions on TV idling at homes. The working class in Pakistan demanded that henceforth they be informed before hand about terrorists attacks so that they can stay back home and enjoy the live action on TV. Government assured them that they will publish "Annual Terrorism Calendar" and align their public holidays with this calendar.


All in all there was mixed opinions on the futile terrorist attack as it did not give them the required mileage in international community….



ps: got it as a mail forward. no idea of the origin. 
i am in no way accountable for the news.