Best of Rajni

Some Basic Facts to begin with
There is nothing Rajni'can't


1. Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!

2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced

3. Girl: Kya Tum Mere Ashiq HoBoy: HaGirl: To Phir Muje chand, tare,duniya ki sari daulat-khushiya dooooBoy:Tera Ashiq Hu Rajnikant Ka Beta nahi.:)

4. Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two
hours. Can you?
Rajini: Rascala, how do you think the earth spins!?]

5. One day Rajnikanth bunked school. Since then it is known as Sunday

6. Rajnikanth was practicing for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is
today known as the oxford dictionary!!

7. Once Rajnikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to Heavy Play

8. Once upon a time Rajnikanth used a tooth powder to get strong
teeth….. . . . . . . . . today that powder is used as AMBUJA CEMENT

9. Rajnikant once taught a child how to play hide & seek...
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Today that child is known as

''Osama Bin Laden''

10. Rajnikanth can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!

11. Most hilarious one on Rajnikant:
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Rajnikanth can do loosemotion in slowmotion.:)

12. RECENTLY der was a fight between Rajanikant and a Tiger..

Surprise, surprise...HE ran away from there

Why?

To Save d Tiger..

Only 1411 r left!! ;)

Otherwise u know Rajnikant....

13. Dear Mr. Rajinikanth

Please Switch off your A.C.

Regards
North Indians.

14. WE ALL KNOW THAT BOOST IS THE SECRET OF SACHIN'S ENERGY.
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BUT DO U KNOW?
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THAT,
RAJNIKANTH IS THE SECRET OF BOOST'S ENERGY!!

15. Q: Laughing budhha kise kehte he?

A: Laughing budha wo mota admi he jise Rajanikant ne bachpan me joke sunaya tha..

BECHARA AAJ TAK HAS RAHA HAI....

16. When Rajnikant was a student,

Teachers used to BUNK classes.

17. Breaking news..

Rajni killed a man in Australia ..

"via Bluetooth"

18. Ricky ponting is visiting every church in Australia
only to Thank God that
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Rajnikant is not in INDIAN CRICKET TEAM.!!

19. do you know why is there frequent earthquake i japan?
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coz rajnikanth lost his mobile in japan which was in vibrator mode

20. Yestd Rajni adopted 2elephnts,2Camels and 2Horses from zoo..

Do u knw Y??

To Play CHESS..

21. y dont rajnikanth wear a watch?
he decides d time on his own

22. once rajnikanth went to bhopal and ate too much of spicey food and farted and guess what is the day known as-"THE BHOPAL GAS TREGADY"

23. Rajnikant was born on 30 feburary..
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Since then febrary decided not to give this day to anybody else!

24. titanic in tamil climax changed.......rajnikanth swims atlantic ocean in one his girlfriend in the other hand titanic.........................................................

25. Look at the sky at 11:00 pm tonight.

You can see RAJNIKANTH.
He is participatng in OLYMPICS high jump,

Don't miss it...!

26. Rajnikanth can bath with a single drop of water

27. One day Rajnikanth got angry on his sweeper boy ~~

He kiked him so hard that he went flyin with his broom ,,

today dat boy is famous as HARRY POTTER.

28. Why there was no electricity

In mumbai few mins. ago .... ??

........ BECAUSE RAJNIKANTH WAS CHARGING HIS PHONE !!

29. Galileo used lamp 2 study..
Graham bell used candle 2study..
Shakspeare studied in street light..

But,

Do u know about

RAJANIKANT ?

only agarbatti....!

30. One day a flat chested girl went to Rajnikant & sought help for her problem. Rajni kissed her boobs and today she's known as Pamela Anderson!

31. Once, while having hookah, Rajnikant blew a few rings of smoke. One of the ring's went into space..

That ring, is now, the ring of SATURN.

32. All sardars hv decided to offer 500 crores to Rajnikanth as a thank you token for shifting peoples focus from

Sardars

to

Rajnikanth.

33. BREAKIN NEWS-
MJ didn't die by drugs,
those wer rumours!

He got major heart attack after seeing that he cannot do d dance steps of Rajnikant!!

34. When RAJNIKANT
switches on his AC without closing the door.
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Winter starts in INDIA. !!!

35. NASA Closed. Rajnikanth bought all the Rockets for Diwali.....=))

36. Once a guy winked at Rajnikanth's wife, Rajni twisted his limbs and broke his eyelid.

We now know him as Baba Ramdev..

37. Once Rajnikanth was playing cricket... He played a defensive shot...now that BALL is called Pluto.

38. Rajanikant knows "Victorias secret"!!!

39. Rajnikant had died 20 yrs ago..death hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

40. Once Rajinikant's testicles collided with each other-Then what. That was d birth of universe! THE BIG BANG!!!

41. Once Rajinikanth lost his wallet-Since then: D world is facing Recession.

42. Just like a match stick Rajinikanth throws saucer after drinking tea-Silly Nasa call it UFO!!

43. Scientists have finally figured d reason behind d global warming-Rajinikanth had slight fever!!

44. Rajnikanth participated in 100 meter race and obviously he came first.....

But EINSTEIN died after watching that.... .....

LIGHT came second..

45. Rajnikanth can eat just one lays

46. Bermuda Triangle was a square till Rajni went and kicked one of its corners

47. Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !
When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”‌


48. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi
Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!!


49. Rajnikanth once donated blood to one man, he's now known as Superman!

50. "once rajni goz 2 africa 4
shootin...
He piss on a barren land...
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Do u knw wat hapen next...
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"NILE" d longest river in world
originated...

Thanks for all online collaborators for this one :)

Graham Bell's Dilemma

Now the latest of them all :):)

When Graham Bell invented the telephone what did he find??..
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He had two misd calls from RajniKanth :D

Rajnichaaleesa !!!!!! :D

Rajnikanth" - straight from IT. miinnddd it !!!!!!!!!!!

THIS time from AN IT PERSPECTIVE.. ENJOY ;)

*Rajnikant's codes are never reviewed, if he makes an error, that's an
invention.*

*Rajnikant does not have any data type, because nothing can define
Rajnikant.*

*Rajnikant's for/while loop does not have an exit condition, he exists
when he desires so.*

*Rajnikant has written a software for himself, where he can set his
age to any value he wants.*

*Rajnikant does not use a key board, he communicates with computer
through mind power.*

*Rajnikant does not install an anti-virus on his PC. All computer
virus are looking for an Anti-Rajanikant software to save themselves
from hands of Rajanikant.*

Rajnikant's programs don't have Catch blocks... Because when
Rajnikant's program throws an exception, nobody can catch it! Only
Rajnikant himself can!!

When Rajnikant comes online, all servers shut down!
Because, the King of SERVERs is online...

*Rajnikant never writes queries to the Databases. Databases send their
queries to Rajnikant!*

Rajnikant never gets a DivideByZero exception. In any such case, 1/0
defines itself..

*Rajnikant reads only one slide for perception;*
As he says " if I read one slide its similar to reading 100 slides"
*Mind it>>>>>>>>>*

Compiler doesnot warn Rajnikant , Rajnikant warns compiler .....

Rajnikant can execute a program before compiling

Default Value For Rajnikant is DEATH!!!!!!!!

Rajnikant can ROLLBACK A TRUNCATED TABLE!

Rajinikanth invented SQL!!

Rajinikant can access even private member variables from a different
package!!!….

Rajinikant can rollback his age in presence of commit.

There is no main function in rajnikant's code……………….every function is
named "RAJNIKANT" and dare compiler produce an error!

Theres nothing RajniCAN'T :D

Rajni Mania...Rajnikanth was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, "You know, I kn...ow everyone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it" Rajini said.

So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door,

And sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts : "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You And your friends come right in and join me for lunch!"

...Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was

Just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says



..."President Obama", Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts

..."Yes", Rajini says, "I know him.



And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, : "Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way

to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of

coffee first and catch up".



Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally onvinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to

name anyone else.



"The Pope," Amitabh Bachan replies

..."Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Italy and I've known the Pope a long time".



Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.. Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a

heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to Amitabh Bachan's side,

Rajini asks him, "What happened?"

Amitabh Bachan looks up and says,

"I was doing fine until u and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me said,

"Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"

Rajanikanth Facts

Many of these are Chuck Norris facts.. but some of them are different

If you do not know who is Rajnikanth…….

1. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

2. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

3. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

4. Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.

5. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

6. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

7. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,…………. he turns the dark off.

8. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

10. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

11. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

12. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

14. Rajanikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

15. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

16. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

17. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

18. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

19. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

20. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

22. Rajanikanth's email id is gmail@rajanikanth.com!

23. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

24. Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way.

25. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

26. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

28. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

29. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

30. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

31. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

32. When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

33. Outer space exists because itsw afraid to be on the same planet with Rajanikanth.

34. Rajanikanth has counted to infinity – twice.

35. When Rajanikanth does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, he's pushing earth down.

36. Rajnikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

37. Rajanikanth doesnt wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

38. Rajanikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

39. Rajanikanth can slam a revolving door.

40. Rajanikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

41. Rajanikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

42. If you google search "Rajanikanth getting kicked"your search will generate 0 results. It just doesn't happen.

43. It takes Rajanikanth 20 mins to watch 60 minutes.

44. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajanikanth kicked one of the corners off.

45. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajanikanth lives in Chennai.

46. Rajanikanth once age an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

47. The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajanikanth are his films.

48. Rajanikanth every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

49. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajanikanth there is no other way.

50. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

FOR MORE CHECK http://interestingfunnyjokes.blogspot.com/search/label/rajnikanth%20jokes