Sunday, January 31, 2010

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity : Therapy

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 
1.. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 
9. Sing Along At The Opera. 
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 
11. When The Money sOut The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 

Friday, January 22, 2010

Lessons from INDIAN movies..



1.     At least one of identical twins is born evil !!!

2.     Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire you cut. You'll always choose the right one…!

3.     When you turn out the light and go to bed , everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish..!

4.     A man will show no pains when he takes the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds…!!

5.     A detective can solve a case only if he has been suspended from duty …!!

6.     If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps… !!!! : ) : ) : ) J


Saturday, January 9, 2010

some truths..As An Employee

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* the biggest motivation is salary

* the unluckiest thing is promotion without salary adjustment

* the most "syok" thing is you don't work anyhow also get pay increment

* the greatest talent is "carry big stuff"

* the greatest mistake is to argue with your boss

* the most demoralising thing is to receive salary late

* the most pitiful thing is you did not get your salary and your boss ran away

* the happiest thing is you become your boss' boss

* the cleverest thing is you are late but boss doesn't know

* the stupidest thing is you publicly say that you are lazy

* the most common thing is - the boss says something but means another

* the proudest thing is you sack your boss

* the most "rugi" thing is you work hard but your colleague takes the credit

* the most dangerous thing is to become a "two-headed" snake

* the biggest satisfaction - sending e-mail like this during office hours!! hehehehehehe... 

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."


The offer..

The Offer

A millionaire throws a massive party for his fiftieth birthday. During the party, he's a bit bored and decides to stir things up a bit. He grabs the mic and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. He offers anything he owns to anyone who will swim across that pool.

The party continues for some time with no one accepting his offer, until suddenly there's a loud splash. All the party guests run to the pool to see what has happened, and in the pool a man is frantically swimming as hard as he can. Fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and the guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining, but the guy manages to reach the end and he leaps out of the pool, soaked.

The millionaire grabs the mic and says, "I am a man of his word, anything of mine I will give—-for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So, what will it be?" the millionaire asks.

The guy grabs the mic and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the person who pushed me in!"