Good one !!!

One day Laloo was travelling by his car. He was going to a village for campaigning. Suddenly a piglet came before the car. The driver couldn't hit the brake at the right time and unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident. At the sight Laloo was deeply moved and felt very upset. He called the driver and said ,"Jiska e suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon. Usko dhundke lav". At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and lots of money in his hands!!! Laloo was surprised. He asked,"Hum tumko kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye,aur tum aise wapas aaye ho! baat kya hai?" At this the driver replied". I told them about the incident. Hearing it, they rejoiced, put tilak and garlands on me, then danced for some time and gave this money." Laloo then asked him, "Aap unko eg-jectly kaa bole?" The driver replied:       "Main bas itna hi bol paya, mein Laloo Prasad Yadav ka driver hoon, maine suaar ke bachhe ko mar dala hai.........."

Buffalo Theory ;)

Awesome Reply... ;-)

       We always face situations where boss says to complete the work in no time.... take extra resources if you want..... maybe this reply can help in those situations....

       It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.

       The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting.
       People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking.
It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.


       To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything." Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"

Amazing Love Story..

Amazing Love Story....you might have ur view point though..

 

 

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after
her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the
party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due
to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too
nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let
me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me
some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

 

That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell
out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home,
has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about
her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice
talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all

her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was
such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:

"My dearest,
please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said
to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so
nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was
hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be
the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times
in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie
to you for anything..


Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like
the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty
coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for
anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my
whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and
have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".

 

Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's
the taste of salty coffee?

It's sweet. She replied.

Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear
but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one
you like will leave you for the one they love.

 

 

Pass it on...

legal

These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people have actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ. _______________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?  What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. SourceID:NT0000E44E

'Self appraisal'

 

 

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone number).

The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Woman : (at the other end of the phone line) "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."

Woman : I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so, on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida ."

Woman : No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner : "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

Boy : "No thanks,

Store Owner : But you were really pleading for one.

Boy : No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is what we call

"Self Appraisal"  ;)

.

 

believe in our actions

 

We all have something to learn from this girl.

As a drought continued for what seemed an eternity, a small community of farmers was in a quandary as to what to do. Rain was important to keep their crops healthy and sustain the towns people's way of life.

As the problem became more acute, a local pastor called a prayer meeting to ask for rain.

Many people arrived. The pastor greeted most of them as they filed in. As he walked to the front of the church to officially begin the meeting he noticed most people were chatting across the aisles and socializing with friends. When he reached the front his thoughts were on quieting the attendees and starting the meeting.

His eyes scanned the crowd as he asked for quiet. He noticed an eleven year-old girl sitting quietly in the front row. Her face was beaming with excitement. Next to her, poised and ready for use, was a bright red umbrella. The little girl's beauty and innocence made the pastor smile as he realized how much faith she possessed. No one else in the congregation had brought an umbrella.

All came to pray for rain, but the little girl had come expecting God to answer. It is important to believe in our actions to succeed in life.

song of the day - phoolon ki rang se(hindi)

Things 2 run in mind when in a LIFT!

What to do when we are trapped in a lift!?       We never know when and where accidents will happen to us OR people around us.  Read on and hope this piece of information may help any of us when things do happen to our self, our friends and our loved ones. One day, while in a lift, it suddenly broke down and it was falling from level 13 at a fast speed.  Fortunately, I remembered watching a TV program that taught you must quickly press all the buttons for all the levels. Finally, the lift stopped at the 5th level.. When you are facing life and death situations, whatever decisions or actions you make decides your survival. If you are caught in a lift breakdown, first thought in mind may be 'waiting to die'... But after reading below, things will definitely be different the next time you are caught in a lift. First  - Quickly press all the different levels of buttons in the lift. When the emergency electricity supply is being activated, it will stop the lift from falling further. Second - Hold on tight to the handle (if there is any). It is to support your position and prevent you from falling or getting hurt when you lost your balance. Third - Lean your back and head against the wall forming a straight line. Leaning against the wall is to use it as a support for your back/spine as protection. Fourth - Bend your knees Ligament is a flexible, connective tissue.  Thus, the impact of fractured bones will be minimized during fall. For everyone, do send out this piece of information to all!   Are you ready to face the situation now…

" Exam Results...Last Bench Boys "

1st Bench:        Hey the paper was tough... But I will get 95 da.. J   2nd Bench:         maga... 20 Marks out ..  L   3rd Bench:        Maga.. Clear aramgi ...  J   4th Bench:        Clear agatho  illvo…  L   5th Bench:          Sure shot.. back maga..  J   Namma Last Bench Rockers:                 !                 !                                    !                 !                         !                 !                           !                 !                         !                 !         Maga ... Invigilator Super  figure kano ….J J J     Hurray for those days!!!

Rupee Symbol Voting

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/rupeesurvey.cms

Upcoming Horror movies in IT Sector.......

Deadline Who Akhri Mail……………… Evil DART Masoom Coder- A Life in trouble 9 Ghante 15 Minute Ichadhari Bug Zahereelee Defect Prod Release ki Raat Do Hazar Code Ke Neeche REGRESSION - RELOADED 0 Bug – Mano ya na Mano…………….!!! I still know what you CODED last summer Adam khor developer Bhut wala DC I know what you CODED last summer Coding- The mystery continues……… Darinda manager, tadapta developer ... !!!! Andha code … !!! Gayab coder – A murder mystery.. !!! Zahreela food court .. !!! Recession – Jaani dushman --- Appraisal Ki Pyaas --- Badla Developer Ka --- Tester Bana Shaitaan --- Manager ki Cheekh ---Client Ka Qaher!!!!!!!!!!! ---Viraana Cubicle!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last but not the least ................................................ ............................................................................. Khooni Call

Emotional equation

 

Worth a reading¦ When someone is doing something or about to do something, in a way I dont want it to be done - and i m not able to accept it - i become angry. When someone is doing something or about to do something, in a way I dont want it to be done - and i m able to accept it - i remain tolerant. When someone is having something or someone is able to produce the results which i m not able to produce - and I m not able to accept it - I become jealous. When someone is having something or someone is able to produce the results which i m not able to produce - and i m able to accept it - i get inspired. When i m encountering uncertainty or is about to encounter uncertainty, which i m not sure how i m going to handle - and i m not able to accept it - it causes fear in me. When i m encountering uncertainty or is about to encounter uncertainty, which i m not sure how i m going to handle - and i m able to accept it - i feel adventurous about it. When someone has done something that has emotionally hurt me - and i m not able to accept it - it develops hatred in me. When someone has done something that has emotionally hurt me - and i m able to accept it - it helps me forgive them. When someone is present in my thoughts, but is not physically present - and i m not able to accept it - i say i m missing u. When someone is present in my thoughts, but is not physically present - and i m able to accept it - i say   i m thinkin of u. Thus, Emotional Equation becomes: Something + acceptance = positive emotion Something + non-acceptance = negative emotion So, it is not something   or someone   who is making us feel positive or negative, but  its our acceptance   or non-acceptance   of something or someone, which impacts things.

 

What women want?...

This is very interesting..........(to women) pls take time to ponder........(to men) enjoy the story........   Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?   Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.   He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.   The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden,     But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?"   She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life." Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was.   The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half. "Which would you prefer? She asked him. "Beautiful during the day .... or at night?" Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, moments with?         (If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be? (If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be? What Lancelot chose, is given below: BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below... OKAY?     ___________________________________________________________________________                                                 Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now... what is the moral to this story?   . . .   .   .   .   .   .   The moral is... 1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is! 2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.     So, always remember: IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY" !!! So don't always try to understand women's mind.. its only her.. no one can calculate the things..

South African Airways!!!!

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.

They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom
was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made
them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words
on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The
card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!

Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the
Nescafe jar.

 It said: "Good till the last drop".

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and
the card read: "Rothmans"


Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read
from the pack: "Extra long. King Size"

 She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a
week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a
whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African
Airways"

Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing
the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.


The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

 Mom fainted!!!!

ATTITUDES are Contagious . . . Is Yours Worth Catching?

ATTITUDES are Contagious . . . Is Yours Worth Catching?

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out.

Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy. Suddenly an old man appeared before him.

"I can see that something is troubling you," he said.

After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."

He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time."

Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come. The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D.
Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!

"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe.
Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.

With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.

Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the uncashed check.
At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.

"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the hospital and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller. "

And she led the old man away by the arm.

The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.

Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.


Motivational quote
A man with confidence shall not lose; only doubt will bring defeat :)

Shahruk Khan Residence: "mannat"

Miss South Sudan Beauty Contest - Ensoiii !!! ;)

India Election 2009 special .. Malayalam Political cartoons by Vinob

Term of the Day: Greater Fool Theory

I'm sure Lehman and AIG went on buying securities based on this theory!!

TERM OF THE DAY - APRIL 1, 2009 Greater Fool Theory What Does it Mean? A theory that states it is possible to make money by buying securities, whether overvalued or not, and later selling them at a profit because there will always be someone (a bigger or greater fool) who is willing to pay the higher price. Investopedia Says... When acting in accordance with the greater fool theory, an investor buys questionable securities without any regard to their quality, but with the hope of quickly selling them off to another investor (the greater fool), who might also be hoping to flip it quickly. Unfortunately, speculative bubbles... Read more. TODAY'S NEWSLETTER IS SPONSORED BY: Special Feature: Options 101 Feature The variety of investments available, doesn't end with mutual funds, stocks, and bonds. Learn about options, an investment that presents a world of opportunity to sophisticated investors. Click here for more. Related Terms Flipper Froth Fully Valued Overbought Overvalued See More... Related Links The Greatest Market Crashes How Investors Often Cause The Market's Problems Stock-Picking Strategies: Fundamental Analysis See More...