Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The old classic Little Johnny

>> "Johnny, what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first
> Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade
> too!"
> Ms Brooks had had enough, so she took Johnny to the principal's office.
> The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he
> failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
> behave.
> He started by asking Johnny some simple arithmetic.
> "What is three times three?"
> "Nine, Sir."
> "How much is nine times six?"
> "Fifty-four."
> And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should
> Know. The principal looked at Ms Brooks and said, "I think Johnny can go to
> third grade! He seems smart enough."
> Ms Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
> The principal and Johnny both agreed.
> Ms Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
> Johnny, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am"
> "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
> "Pockets!"
> "OK, what does a dog do that a man steps into?"
> "Pants."
> "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains
> thin whitish liquid?"
> "Coconut. !"
> "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
> The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer,
> Johnny was taking charge.
> "Bubblegum!"
>  "What does a man do standing up, a woman does! sitting down and a dog  does
> on three legs?"
> "Shake hands, Ma'am."
> "Now for some "Who am I" sort of questions, OK? First one. You stick your
> poles inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do."
> Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!"
> "OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
> best man always has me first."
> The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
> But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding Ring!"
> "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,  you feel
> good."
> "Nose."
> "Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver."
> "Arrow."
> "Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and
> means a lot of heat and excitement?"
> "Fire truck, Ma'am!"
> The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to
> university!!!!, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"



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