Tuesday, October 21, 2008

East or West ..its India in the End !

"Tamils"are always proud to be Tamizhs; Pretty courteous (that is what

they think, at least!). They speak yenglish but sorry, no indi (Hindi)

saar...what da??.The more common Madarasi (chennaisi..., now?) is an

ardent fan of

kireeketmatches.

Their counterparts in Bombay think they live in America but speak Hinglish

like ...are you sure ki Sujata aa rahi hai ya Ill go akela!" And

they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi Grammar.


Thamizhs, are verrry lecky to have "simble" neighbours in the "keralites"

who are a komblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the

middle east, I guess; and now even the Sheikhs feel wary of them) but they

eat a lot of chooclyte and own 99.998765% of chai shops in the world and

form 99.89% of nursing community.


Not far begind the kerals is the "telugu desam", who are totally againesht

flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out

withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu (pleat).

Worustu,no?! But they (think) are greatu in CICSu, Microsu and COBOLu!

Generally sane peoplesu (and so you can always findu them judgingu,

probhingu, queschioningu othersu ....)


The Canadians, excuse me, the "Kannadigas" aor (are) the coolest dobun

When it comes to Rajkumar (actor), if a fly sits on his nose,

they'll burn the entire city of Bengaloroo to kill the fly! To hell with

Silicon valley! I-ron, firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu,

filamu are some of their favourites.


"Maharashtrians" are a conservative, confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar, that

is because gavasakar, tendulkar, bahulkar,.. confused that is because

sitting in southern part of India they would ask the other person "are

you from Maharashtra or from south India..?" and genuinely wonder why the

other person takes some time to answer the question. They like the

principles of pheejix and their favourite character in the alphabet is Zay

(god knows where that came from). Although soft, peace loving people but

they elect the shivsena to rule them.


And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the "Gujjubhais". They like

to keep kes in the benk and their favourite past time is eating snakes

(snacks)

like paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja at the local snake bar. They

gobble down palak sev like their life depends on it and believe in the

brotherhood and sisterhood of man and woman (everybody is a bhai or a

ben).


If you go further eesht, the land uf Udissa - the land of irron ("r"

unsilent) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The people

are

bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask your name starts

from B

or Bhe. They

do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the

wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze had a roll nomber jero, jero,

sebhen.


Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud oph Subas Chondro Boash

and Shoatyojit Roy (I used to know a director by name Satyajit Ray who was

also pretty good) and eberybody is X da. I used to habe a friend by name.

Dada. Bonder...neber mind. Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are bery

goooood, tho!


Bihari kids are supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in the

universe!). How we wish they grow up the same way,...but... And Biharees

are bery phond of Laloo and Ranchi, isse bhadiya tumre pass koochi hai

kaa?! spit spit...


UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool and istudying metals to make

lots of ishteel.


Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offer Rotti Shotti Khayega! to

which I once replied No. He said Tage itu, yaar! By Godu! Surjeetu, what

happenedu, oi?!. Then of course, everybodys a paappe or a kaakke. Thats

Pnjab for you.


And Kashmir (called Cashmir by many, may be because of the amount of cash

spent to keep it in India)?!?

I know Roja (or Roza?)was shot (I mean filmed) somewhere nearby...


But at the end of the day, wherever you are in the world, whether it is in

Sunnyvale, CA; Birmingham, UK; UmmAl Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road,

Singapore, ask them who they are and you'll get just one answer ---

"INDIANS"


AFTER ALL HUM SAAB EK HAIN!!!

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