Letter to Son and his Reply

ONE OLD MAN DECIDES TO PLANT A TOMATO IN HIS GARDEN.BUT HE IS VERY WEAK TO DIG THE LAND SO HE WRITE TO HIS SON IN JAIL

 

 

DEAR VINNIE

I NEED TO DIG THE GARDEN BUT I CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU

LOVING DAD

 

 

TWO DAYS LATER THE SON WRITES BACK

 

DEAR DAD

PLEASE DONT DIG THERE ITS WHERE I HAVE BURRIED THE DEAD BODIES

VINNIE.

 

NEXT DAY FBI COMES AND DIGS THE WHOLE GARDEN. DIDNT FIND ANY BODIES APOLIGESED TO THE OLD MAN AND LEFT. 

 

NEXT DAY THE OLD MAN GOT A LETTER

 

DEAR DAD

PLANT YOUR TOMATO. THAT'S ALL I CAN DO AS OF NOW

 

LOVING VINNIE.

Funny guys

 

 

Qantas Maintenance reports

----------------------------

 

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form And then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

 

Never Let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some Actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance Engineers.

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

 

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget Pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]


Once upon a time , there was a software engineer who used to develop
programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a
river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday
market.


One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and
fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood
(the woodcutter and the axe ),

He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to
test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The
engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.



As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a
match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the
Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."


She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was
his.


Annoyed, the engineer said " No, not at all!!"


Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was
his.


The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said " Yes."


The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give


Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer
Asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better
computers before bringing up my own ?"


The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid
donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the
Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared
with the Pentium!!