Do I have to be there??? you mean right there???

Jesus Vs. Batman

Jesus vs. Batman fight in Facebook

Best of Rajni

Some Basic Facts to begin with
There is nothing Rajni'can't


1. Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!

2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced

3. Girl: Kya Tum Mere Ashiq HoBoy: HaGirl: To Phir Muje chand, tare,duniya ki sari daulat-khushiya dooooBoy:Tera Ashiq Hu Rajnikant Ka Beta nahi.:)

4. Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two
hours. Can you?
Rajini: Rascala, how do you think the earth spins!?]

5. One day Rajnikanth bunked school. Since then it is known as Sunday

6. Rajnikanth was practicing for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is
today known as the oxford dictionary!!

7. Once Rajnikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to Heavy Play

8. Once upon a time Rajnikanth used a tooth powder to get strong
teeth….. . . . . . . . . today that powder is used as AMBUJA CEMENT

9. Rajnikant once taught a child how to play hide & seek...
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Today that child is known as

''Osama Bin Laden''

10. Rajnikanth can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!

11. Most hilarious one on Rajnikant:
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Rajnikanth can do loosemotion in slowmotion.:)

12. RECENTLY der was a fight between Rajanikant and a Tiger..

Surprise, surprise...HE ran away from there

Why?

To Save d Tiger..

Only 1411 r left!! ;)

Otherwise u know Rajnikant....

13. Dear Mr. Rajinikanth

Please Switch off your A.C.

Regards
North Indians.

14. WE ALL KNOW THAT BOOST IS THE SECRET OF SACHIN'S ENERGY.
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BUT DO U KNOW?
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THAT,
RAJNIKANTH IS THE SECRET OF BOOST'S ENERGY!!

15. Q: Laughing budhha kise kehte he?

A: Laughing budha wo mota admi he jise Rajanikant ne bachpan me joke sunaya tha..

BECHARA AAJ TAK HAS RAHA HAI....

16. When Rajnikant was a student,

Teachers used to BUNK classes.

17. Breaking news..

Rajni killed a man in Australia ..

"via Bluetooth"

18. Ricky ponting is visiting every church in Australia
only to Thank God that
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Rajnikant is not in INDIAN CRICKET TEAM.!!

19. do you know why is there frequent earthquake i japan?
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coz rajnikanth lost his mobile in japan which was in vibrator mode

20. Yestd Rajni adopted 2elephnts,2Camels and 2Horses from zoo..

Do u knw Y??

To Play CHESS..

21. y dont rajnikanth wear a watch?
he decides d time on his own

22. once rajnikanth went to bhopal and ate too much of spicey food and farted and guess what is the day known as-"THE BHOPAL GAS TREGADY"

23. Rajnikant was born on 30 feburary..
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Since then febrary decided not to give this day to anybody else!

24. titanic in tamil climax changed.......rajnikanth swims atlantic ocean in one his girlfriend in the other hand titanic.........................................................

25. Look at the sky at 11:00 pm tonight.

You can see RAJNIKANTH.
He is participatng in OLYMPICS high jump,

Don't miss it...!

26. Rajnikanth can bath with a single drop of water

27. One day Rajnikanth got angry on his sweeper boy ~~

He kiked him so hard that he went flyin with his broom ,,

today dat boy is famous as HARRY POTTER.

28. Why there was no electricity

In mumbai few mins. ago .... ??

........ BECAUSE RAJNIKANTH WAS CHARGING HIS PHONE !!

29. Galileo used lamp 2 study..
Graham bell used candle 2study..
Shakspeare studied in street light..

But,

Do u know about

RAJANIKANT ?

only agarbatti....!

30. One day a flat chested girl went to Rajnikant & sought help for her problem. Rajni kissed her boobs and today she's known as Pamela Anderson!

31. Once, while having hookah, Rajnikant blew a few rings of smoke. One of the ring's went into space..

That ring, is now, the ring of SATURN.

32. All sardars hv decided to offer 500 crores to Rajnikanth as a thank you token for shifting peoples focus from

Sardars

to

Rajnikanth.

33. BREAKIN NEWS-
MJ didn't die by drugs,
those wer rumours!

He got major heart attack after seeing that he cannot do d dance steps of Rajnikant!!

34. When RAJNIKANT
switches on his AC without closing the door.
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Winter starts in INDIA. !!!

35. NASA Closed. Rajnikanth bought all the Rockets for Diwali.....=))

36. Once a guy winked at Rajnikanth's wife, Rajni twisted his limbs and broke his eyelid.

We now know him as Baba Ramdev..

37. Once Rajnikanth was playing cricket... He played a defensive shot...now that BALL is called Pluto.

38. Rajanikant knows "Victorias secret"!!!

39. Rajnikant had died 20 yrs ago..death hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

40. Once Rajinikant's testicles collided with each other-Then what. That was d birth of universe! THE BIG BANG!!!

41. Once Rajinikanth lost his wallet-Since then: D world is facing Recession.

42. Just like a match stick Rajinikanth throws saucer after drinking tea-Silly Nasa call it UFO!!

43. Scientists have finally figured d reason behind d global warming-Rajinikanth had slight fever!!

44. Rajnikanth participated in 100 meter race and obviously he came first.....

But EINSTEIN died after watching that.... .....

LIGHT came second..

45. Rajnikanth can eat just one lays

46. Bermuda Triangle was a square till Rajni went and kicked one of its corners

47. Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !
When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”‌


48. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi
Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!!


49. Rajnikanth once donated blood to one man, he's now known as Superman!

50. "once rajni goz 2 africa 4
shootin...
He piss on a barren land...
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Do u knw wat hapen next...
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"NILE" d longest river in world
originated...

Thanks for all online collaborators for this one :)

It's possible to understand Engineers!

Understanding Engineers #1

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"


The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
"Take what you want."


The first engineer nodded approvingly and said,
"Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."



Understanding Engineers #2


To the optimist, the glass is half-full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.




Understanding Engineers #3


A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.


The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys?
We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"


The doctor chimed in,
"I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"


The priest said,
"Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."


He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"


The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,
so we let them play for free anytime."


The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said,
"That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them."


The ophthalmologist added, "Good idea. And maybe I could examine
them to see if there's anything I can do for them."


They were silent for a moment.


Then the engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"







Understanding Engineers #4


What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.




Understanding Engineers #5


The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"




Understanding Engineers #6


Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
Just look at all the joints."


Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."


The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline adjacent to a recreational area?"



Understanding Engineers #7


Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.


Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.





Understanding Engineers #8


An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."


He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.


The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."


The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it
and returned it to the pocket.


The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."


Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.


Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"


The engineer said, "Look, I'm a busy engineer.
I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool!"

Graham Bell's Dilemma

Now the latest of them all :):)

When Graham Bell invented the telephone what did he find??..
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He had two misd calls from RajniKanth :D

Politrics on Sreesanths Potential

Selectors should watch this before taking in Sreesanth..
Malayalam TV channel on Sreesanth

Why did Bhajji slap Sreesanth.. The True Story

Why Harbhajan Slapped Sreesanth ?

Our Harbhanjan Singh was enjoying Match.

Yuvraj Singh came and asked him, “Are you rela-xing?”

Bhajji answered, “No I am Harbhajan Singh”

VRV Singh Came and asked the same Question.

He answered, “No! No!, Me Harbhajan Singh”

Third one came and asked the same question, Bhajji was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

cricket-game

While walking he saw Sreesanth enjoying the Match. He went and asked him “Are you Relaxing?”

The Sreesanth answered “Yes I am rela-xing.”

Bhajji slapped him on his face and said “Are sab tere Ko wahan dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai.”

sreesanth tidbits

Gary Kirsten in his last Interview as Indian Coach was asked about Sreesanth.. These are the main excerpts "he is ..mental... wasted talent"

How many Sreesanths does it take to change a light bulb? 2!
- One to put it in.
- And one to take it out and throw it at the others head!

What do you call Sreesanth in a suit? The defendant at an ICC disciplinary hearing

Rahul Gandhi is an Amul Baby : Kerala CM VS Achuthanandan

Can This Be True??

A certain Irishman was taken prisoner by the Huns. While he was standing alone, waiting to be assigned to his
prison, or whatever fate awaited him, the Kaiser came up.
"Hello," said the Kaiser. "Who have we here?"
"I'm an Irishman, your honor."
Then he winked solemnly.
"Oi say," he continued. "We didn't do a thing to you Germans, did we? Eh, old chap?"
The Kaiser was horrified. Calling an orderly he said to him:
"Take this blasphemer away and put a German uniform on him, and then bring him back."

Always get the Facts

It is never wise to jump to conclusions. Always wait until the evidence is all in.
A Jersey man of a benevolent turn of mind encountered a small boy in his neighborhood who gave evidence
of having emerged but lately from a severe battle.
"I am sorry," said the man, "to see that you have a black eye, Sammy."
Whereupon Sammy retorted:
"You go home and be sorry for your own little boy−−he's got two!"

Sreesanth jokes

@Sreesanth : ne nirbandichal selection committee sammathikkum
@dhoni : engane ?
@Sreesanth : ne nirbandichal selection committee sammathikkum
@dhoni : illa , naan nirbandikilla .....
@sreesanth :alla, ee world cup semi kalikka ennokke paranal ...manushya jeevithathil aage kittunna chancanu
@dhoni : athu kondanallo naan kalikkunathu ......
@sreesanth : ne parayuganekil sreekanth sammathikkum
@dhoni : eda sreesanthe, ninakku ahhhhhhhhhhangaram valare kooduthalanuu!!!!!!
@sreesanth : ayyo naan verum paavamalle....
@dhoni :oru kalikaran captainodu perumarunnathu poleyalla, ne ennodu perumarunnathu..nan vallapozhum ninne 'eda' ennu vilichal ninakku valiyoru ithu
@sreesanth : ini ne enne patteenu vilichalum, nan maruthoru akasharam mindilla
@dhoni:ille ?eda patti..
@sreesanth : ntho?
@dhoni:eda patti......
@sreesanth : ini nee enne thalliyalpolum nan maruthoru akasharam mindilla
@sreesanth : Thallikko...iniyum thallikko...enganeyengilum .......
@dhoni :eda.......nalla kavilu....!!!!!!!

Remake of Mohanlal & sreenivasan scene in Akkare Akkare AkkareSee

The Point Of Honor

A young lieutenant was passed by a private, who failed to salute. The lieutenant called him back, and said
sternly:
"You did not salute me. For this you will immediately salute two hundred times."
At this moment the General came up.
"What's all this?" he exclaimed, seeing the poor private about to begin.
The lieutenant explained.
"This ignoramus failed to salute me, and as a punishment, I am making him salute two hundred times."
"Quite right," replied the General, smiling. "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute in
return."