During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I
have an exam next week.
Narayan: oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses
you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses,
you would know this.
The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you
would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is
Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No
Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night
courses, you would know.
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Lesson
A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner..... who lives with a room mate, a girl named Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you? "Kumar said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney Jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now under the pillow!
Love,
Mom.
Lesson : Don't Lie to Your Mother - especially if she is Indian!
Quote of the day:
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her
husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The
widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I've just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Three of them cant catch that Auction, and they are calling their home:
Oh enna prayanaa nne, mudinja oru lelavayirunnu, njan 10,000 thinu vilichappo avan 20,000 thinu vilichu,
angane poyi poyi avasanam njan angu ittechu ponnenne.........
Telephone charge AED:20
Malappuram Guy : uppaa
Yenthoru odukkathe lelam aanu? ooru 10,000 thinu vilichappa njammal 20,000 thinu vilich,
pinnem aa vedakk pidichon ketti vilichu, pinne njammale kshama kettu,njammal ingadu ponnu........
Telephone charge AED:15
At last , the Thrissur Guy:
APPANA?
JOSE NU......
LELAM OOMBEETAAAAAA !!!!
Telephone charge AED:2.50.
| 'AGEING GRACEFULLY' HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, 'SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?' WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS TALE FROM A WOMAN!! I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS NEARLY 40 YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL 'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED 'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED. HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1968. WHY DO YOU ASK?' 'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED. HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED, BALD, FAT, GRAY, DECREPIT S-O-B ASKED, 'WHAT DID YOU TEACH '? |
| An Ex-Wife's Revenge She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.... ........including the curtain rods. I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????? |
