Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.
Michael Barrymore has offered Manchester United £1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 assholes jumping up and down.
Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What do Beckham and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: Both are f**ing bad singers!!!
Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real dick
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Highbury.
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