New end of movie DDLJ.........

http://ddklj.makemytrip.com/?Camp=Email&attrib=May08/Viral

Answers by B.E students during viva..............!!

 Best answer by B.E.ELECTRICAL students during viva..............


Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current
in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate : An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and
requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

************************************************************************************

External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To
pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC comes
straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But
AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!"
------------------- good one : - )

************************************************************************************

Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If
it gets stuck, it was DC.

************************************************************************************

Interviewer: H! ow will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor
around, and put back the bolts.

************************************************************************************


Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."



Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transformer that is put in the x-udment
or in a pit?"



Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is
installed on the ground?"
(Student knows he is caught-can't answer )



Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

*********************************************************************************


Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carry out mass transfer operations
throughout the class

*********************************************************************************

The most important machine for Engineers:

Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion couldn't be possible)

*********************************************************************************
Top two Engineering Rumours:

Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm
Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks

*********************************************************************************


Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:

'What is this man, 60% o f the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire
engineering history' 'I am failing'

Funny football : Sir Alex Ferguson and the Balloon

johnney liver show - video

best of johnney liver show..

#1 sonu nigam



#2 sunidhi chauhan

salim kumar at his best -videos

salim kumar in "thommanum makkalum" -sorry for those who cannot understand malayalam

#3
He is innocent :)




#2
Salim Kumar and his girlfriend




#1

this is the best

Funny Football/Soccer - mistakes/bloopers

finniest moments in football

a bit of thought...

i don't personnally like this guy or his books but this one isn't bad..


 Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis.

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run
with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls,
there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and
relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there
is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this
spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.


One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life
is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are
like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may
last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we
really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up
a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

"Don't be serious, be sincere." :)

--

malayalam : aagola sampathika maandyam

malayalam in english : Punishment..:)

Hi,

Oru cheriya kadha...........

Mohanlal marichu. He reached heaven. mohanlal nere chithragupthante aduthu ethi. chitragupthan aranennu ninagalkku ellavarkkum ariyam ennu vicherikkunnu.

Chithragupthan: " Lal, ninagl orupadu kuttangal cheythittund. athinal ninagalkku orupadu shikshakal und."

angane chithragupthan ella kuttagalum parnju athinte shikhakalum.
mohanlal ellam kettu. ake dughithanayi.

Chithragupthan: "ennirunnalum ningalude oru agraham njan eppol sadichu tharam.......!!! paranjolu...".
Mohanlal: "Enik Mammottiye onnu kananam.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Chithragupthan: "sari. ente koode vannooluuuuuuuu....".

Chithragupthanum mohanlalum nadannu nadannu oru roominte frontil ethi. Chithragupthan anuyayiyodu vathil thurankkan angnjapichu.
paricharakan vathil thurannu.

mohanlal angottu nokkiyappol kanda kazhcha Mammottiyum Bipasha Basuvum koodi dance kalikkunnatha kandathu...!!!!!

mohanlalinu ake feelings ayi.

ennittu chithragupthanodu paranju "ethentha engane!!! mammootty daralam kuttangal cheythittund. enikku mathram ethra kooduthal........."

Chithragupthan: "Mammoottikku ulla siksha ayittilla........."
Chithragupthan: "ethu bipasha basuvinulla punishment anu !!!!"

The old classic Little Johnny

>> "Johnny, what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first
> Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade
> too!"
>
> Ms Brooks had had enough, so she took Johnny to the principal's office.
> The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he
> failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
> behave.
>
> He started by asking Johnny some simple arithmetic.
> "What is three times three?"
> "Nine, Sir."
>
> "How much is nine times six?"
> "Fifty-four."
>
> And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should
> Know. The principal looked at Ms Brooks and said, "I think Johnny can go to
> third grade! He seems smart enough."
>
> Ms Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
> The principal and Johnny both agreed.
>
> Ms Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
> Johnny, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am"
>
> "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
> "Pockets!"
>
> "OK, what does a dog do that a man steps into?"
> "Pants."
>
> "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains
> thin whitish liquid?"
> "Coconut. !"
>
> "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
> The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer,
> Johnny was taking charge.
> "Bubblegum!"
>
>  "What does a man do standing up, a woman does! sitting down and a dog  does
> on three legs?"
> "Shake hands, Ma'am."
>
> "Now for some "Who am I" sort of questions, OK? First one. You stick your
> poles inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do."
>
> Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!"
> "OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
> best man always has me first."
>
> The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
> But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding Ring!"
>
> "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,  you feel
> good."
> "Nose."
>
> "Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver."
> "Arrow."
>
> "Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and
> means a lot of heat and excitement?"
> "Fire truck, Ma'am!"
>
> The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to
> university!!!!, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

>

--
http://the-malayalee.blogspot.com/

The great Indian bride hunt.

Long and time-consuming, but just hilarious. :D

http://luciferhouseinc.blogspot.com/2008/08/great-indian-bride-hunt.html
http://luciferhouseinc.blogspot.com/2008/08/great-indian-bride-hunt-reloaded.html
http://luciferhouseinc.blogspot.com/2008/08/great-indian-bride-hunt-rotations.html
http://luciferhouseinc.blogspot.com/2008/08/great-indian-bride-hunt-rotations-contd.html

frm a fellow blogger

Interview..Good One... (see the last one ...ultimate)

thanks ruchi for this one :)

Interviewer said 'I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!' The boy thought for a while and said, 'my choice is one really difficult question.' 'Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. 'What comes first, Day or Night?' The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, 'It's the DAY sir!' 'How' the interviewer asked, 'Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!' He was selected for IIM! Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the master of presence of mind     Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)   Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank Opted for IFS)   Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)   Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES) Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98) Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2) Q. What looks like half apple ? A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper ) Q. What can you never eat for breakfast? A: Dinner.   Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state? A: Liquid (UPSC 33Rank ) ----A good one   This is a famous paper written for an Oxford philosophy exam, normally requiring an eight page essay answer and expected to be backed up with source material, quotes and analytical reasoning. This guy wrote only an one liner and left and topped the exam!   * OXFORD EXAMINATION BOARD 1987* *ESSAY QUESTION* Question: What is courage? (50 Marks) Answer: This is courage

MNS sindabaad

GOOD ONE :: MNS again

We all should support Raj Thackeray and take his initiative ahead by doing more.... 1.. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school 2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi 3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi 4. No Hindi movie should be made in Bombay . Only Marathi. 5. At every state border, buses, trains, flights should be stopped and staff changed to local men 6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals 7. Lord Shiv, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in our state as they belong to north ( Himalayas ) 8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only 9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India , so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra ? 10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for the benefit of their state and community.. 11. Let's throw all MNCs out of Maharashtra , why should they earn from us? We will open our own Maharashtra Microsoft, MH Pepsi and MH Marutis of the world 12. Let's stop using cellphones, emails, TV, foreign Movies and dramas. James Bond should speak Marathi 13. We should be ready to die hungry or buy food at 10 times higher price but should not accept imports from other states 14. We should not allow any industry to be setup in Maharashtra because all machinery comes from outside 15. We should STOP using local trains... Trains are not manufactured by Marathi manoos and Railway Minister is a Bihari 16. Ensure that all our children are born, grow, live and die without ever stepping out of Maharashtra , then they will become true Marathi's JAI MAHARASHTRA!

__,_._,___

--

Must Read.. (jabbar)

 

 

Sticky First Date
==================

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when
you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that
a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no
question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken
her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly
had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize
that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle
of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or
it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down
and started.

In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was
the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were
firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted
to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she
had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered
her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed,
she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place,
both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his
pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter,
she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants
down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment...
"This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out?

He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Actual call centre conversation ! Have fun .....

 

 

Actual call centre conversation!

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.

 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator:         'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

 

Caller:              'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

 

Operator:         'What sort of trouble??'

 

Caller:              'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

 

Operator:         'Went away?'

 

Caller:              'They disappeared.'

 

Operator:         'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

 

Caller:              'Nothing.'

 

Operator:         'Nothing??'

 

Caller:              'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

 

Operator:         'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

 

Caller:              'How do I tell?'

 

Operator:         'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

 

Caller:              'What's a sea-prompt?'

 

Operator:         'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

 

Caller:              'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

 

Operator:         'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

 

Caller:              'What's a monitor?'

 

Operator:         'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

 

Caller:               'I don't know.'

 

Operator:          'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

 

Caller:              'Yes, I think so.'

 

Operator:         'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

 

Caller:              'Yes, it is.'

 

Operator:         'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

 

Caller:               'No.'

 

Operator:          'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

 

Caller:               'Okay, here it is.'

 

Operator:          'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

 

Caller:               'I can't reach.'

 

Operator:          'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

 

Caller:               'No.'

 

Operator:          'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'

 

Caller:               'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

 

Operator:          'Dark??'

 

Caller:               'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

 

Operator:          'Well, turn on the office light then.'

 

Caller:               'I can't.'

 

Operator:          'No? Why not??'

 

Caller:               'Because there's a power failure.'

 

Operator:          'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

 

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

 

Caller:               'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

 

Operator:          'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

 

Caller:               'Really? Is it that bad?'

 

Operator:          'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

 

Caller:               'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

 

Operator:          'Tell them you're too f *** ing stupid to own a  computer... 

computer! 

 

 

Sathyabama Engg college Rules & Regulation

This is a deemed university now... A famous college in Chennai…

plz read from point

e) super comedy…….hats off to those who invented these rules………sorry for those students

Best of Salim Kumar's Dialogues ...: Malayalam in English

Please note that all the jokes below are in Malayalam. Salim Kumar is a Malayalam film comedian who often pairs with Dileep with a knack for witty one-liners. These jokes are mostly from the Salim kumar communities in Orkut. Many thanks to all Salim kumar fans

»

»
Thilakkam
onnam class muthal kanjavu valichirunenkil
chalpalannu ippo english parayamayirunnu…

»
madhya tiruvathankorile oru rajavu .peru sasi

»
KalayanaRaman
Trying to break the coconut besides the lady and the lady falls to the pool of water and SK says
‘Yenta oru shabdham ketathu???’
‘Thenga odachappo oru piece vellathil poyathaanu’

»
“njan advocate Mukundan Vakkeel. da coat-e”

»
Thilakkam
Salim Kumar: njangalkku aliyanum aliyanum koody kurachu talks nadathanundu………..cashine kurichulla talks …Casual talks…….

»
Chadikaatha chandhu
“Im Micheal Elias ,JAckson Elias,Vikram Elias”

»

Thenkashipattanam
salimkumar to dilip:
nammal kaanaan pokunnath devootiyeyalle allathe mammotiyeyallalo.

»
Salim Kumar is reading the classifieds section in the newspaper…”Varanmaare aavashyamundu……………………AASHWAASAM KANDAAL MAATHRAM PRATHIBHALAM. Eh?? Ithu veraiy parasyamaanallaiy…oh..thetti vaayichu”

»
“Iyaal enthu pani aado e kaanickkunne…Thanne kondu njan thottallo..I ALL SO FAILED OF YOU.”

»
nee sahakarikukayanengil ee kalavara namukoru maniyarayakkam…

»
VAYARINTE VALATHU BHAGATHU KARUTHA MARUGULLA STHREE AANO EE KUTTYUDE MUMMY…..

»
Pulival kalyanam
Nammal Nalu perallathe moonnamathoral ethu ariyarythu. Nee vichal aval erangi varumo?.

»
dileep: entha ithu???

salim: welcome!!!
dileep: ithu welcome alla… melcow…
salim: oh anganeyum vaayikkaamo???
puthiya lipi aayathu konda…
pazhaya lipi aayirunnengil njan kalakkiyene….

»
THILAKKAM
salim kumar : entha ithu?
bindhu panikar : athu unni valicherinja chora
salim k : ho!! njan vicharichu ente thala choru purathu vanathanennu!!!!

»
While in a boat
” Sidesitil irikam inale kattu kollu “

»
Ee Dharmendrayude chila samayathulla COMEDY kettaal, chirichu chirichu kakshathu neeru varum… hu hu hu

»
CHESS
its a dialogue to dileep
sirine njan ente ammaye pole snehikum….

»
Don’t dooo, Don doooo

»
Salim asking: perenthaanu?
Other dude: Pesatheda Porukki
Salim :Pesatheda Porukki,haha.. Peru kettittu cinema peru poley irikkunnu.

»

»
wen salim kumar signs on d document harisri asokan asks
ithenthina
ningalkku njan kaashu thannennullathinu enikkorurappu vende.njan aara mon

»
Kaanan valya lookilla enne ullooo…pakshe bayankara budhiya

»
Dileep : Pani theernno
SK : Pani eppozhae theernnu..innale 12 manikku.. heart attack aayirunnu…
Dileep : Athalla, ninte pani theernno-nnu
SK : Pani theernna njaan ivide nikkumo, mookkil panji vecchu evideyenkilum poyi rest edukkoolle…

»
Thenkasipattanam
Dilip: Nee enthanda kudikkunnathu?
Salim: Ithiri barley vellam…
Dilip: pinne,athinentha oru brandiyude manam?
Salim: Athalle paranje.Barile vellamnnu…………..
Salim: Da ee cycle rally aano,Hercules aano?
Dilip: aalkkaru purake odivarunnathu kandille? Ralliya……

»
angu dufaiyil ee shakkinte idam kai aanu njan…avide ellam edathottanallo

»
Pulival Kalyanam
Salim Kumar: Rathri entha kazhichathu?
Cochin Haneefa : Chapathiyum Dal Curryum
Salim Kumar :Paranjathu Nannai..Risk edukanda…

»
Kannimasam vanno ennariyan pashuvinu calendar nokkenda aavashyam illa (Dileep was trying to flirt with Navya Nair and denying the relationship to Salim Kumar and Innocent).

»
Pulival Kalyanam
kallavandi keran polum kaayill kaashillaathathu kondu njan oru taxi vilichu angottu varam..

»
after relesing dileep frm police custody…….”NANDI UNDU SIR NANDI UNDU….”…. blows into his pocket…..”NANDI MATHREMEY ULLU ALLEY????????????????”

»
Thommanum makkalum
When Lal Mammooty & Ranjan. P.D came 2 Tevar’s house
SK tells 2 them
“Nigalkariyamo pandu kolum kulayumulla tharavatille avaasaanate kanniyaa njan epol kollillanee ullu baaki ellam undu .(kulaa)
Njgal parampragathamai Gunda-kalla
ente acchan gundaa,amavan gunda,apuppan gunda
Enthinere parayunnu entee Bhariya vere aaa naattille ariyapedunna GUNDI YAYIRUNADAA GUNDI…..”

»

»
Pulival Kalyanam
Salim kumar as manavalan & Madavan as manvalans father
manavalan: odivil kuttasammatham nadathi alle.achan anatre achan
dashhhh…(Adi) ithu nhan ente ammaku kodutha vakka
ningal ariyamayirunoo cherupathil nhan achane kananam
achane kananam enu paraju vashi pidikumbol palliyil
achan mare kanichu samathanippikumayirunu ente
ponnamachi…hmmm enittu ippom vannirikunu
Madavan: Edo njan ninte achan onnum alla
manavalan: pinne njan engane undaiiii?

»
Kalyanaraman
“keep it up”…”keepayi irikkan thatparyamundennalle?”

»
Thommanum makkalum
when mammooty comes to see layas father
salim kumar:(deshyathode meesa pirichukondu)
“njan ivente kayyil ninnum vangum”

andhayaaya navya naayare nokki..SK..
daivame enikke kaazhcha illa yirunnenkil ivalkke oru jeevidam kodukka mayirunnu..
daivame ennode enthine ee krooratha cheythu..??

»
Pulival Kalyanam
“angana padakka company khudaaa gava…”

»
enikku ee vishappinte asukham undey, unakkameen vangikkan poya ente murappennu loriyidichu marichu
aaa pinne annu njan unakkameen kondu adjustu cheythu

»
ammavan marichathode utharavaditham muzhuvan ente eee tholilayi,,
athenikishteppettillaaaaaaaaaa

»
entha kutta praayamaayavare kaaliliruthi mullikkamo kaalil rogam varille california!!!!!!!!!!!!

»
Pulival Kalyanam
harisree asookan : kalyanam kazhicoo…
sk: illaa naan bachelaraanu
ha: kuttikal…
sk: illa ningalkoo
ha: athee ollu
ha: sarinte achanoo
sk: addehavum oru bachelor aayirunnu
ha: appo muthachanooo….
sk: chrooonic baachelor……

»
Chess
Pachakari medikkunnathu kuttkaram anennu enikariyillayirunnu sir…

»
dharalam mudra patrangal vendi varum ..
namakku documentry thayyarakkande…

»
the home appliances of the two families u r the link………………..no…….. no………… no…………u r the link of the link. the two families attached to hte bathroom ur families food and accomodation. wat do u mean……………oh angnonnum illa ……….neymeen…..chalameen…….ailameen…..silopimee……..emmmmmmm………poor boy english polum arinjukooda enittu ennodu speachan vannirikkunnu………..malayalees………………

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End of the first night
salim: ho neram velutho,itha cash
wife: muzhuvanum undallo alle…

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“ITHAVIDE, ITHATHINTE DHAPPURATH”

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” ITHA LADU LILEBI..”

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In pulivaal kalyana
“sangeetham padikanamenna mohavumayi njaan chennu kayariyathu oru singatthinte madayilayirunnu….- usthad alavaladhi khaan
avasaanam guruvinte vaayil oru pidi manal vaari ittu yathrayayi…by the by njaan vishayattil ninnum pinmaariyo…where is the lyrics….gagapamaaaaa….ahah subash subash…..idadanakkam…gujarathi kalthala kettyiya malayalee pennanu njaan panjabiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…..

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Ee Bloody Indians and malayalees pranchu nadakkunnu..enikku dufaiyil kooli paniyanennu…
nattil oru image undakiyedukkananu MANAVALAN N SONS enna ee boardum..Eee nhanum ..pinne ee pipe um


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Thenkashipattanam
sk: da!! aa kaalede nottam athra sheriyalla..
dileep: athinu ninakkentha??
sk: ninakku prashnam onnum illallo, njan alle purakil nilkunnathu…

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NINGALKU AVISHYAMULLATHU PANAMANU
ENTE KAYYIL AVISHYATHINNU KUDUTHAL ULLATHUM PANNAMANU

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salim: ee manushyarokke janikkunnathinu munpu aadine(goat) theettichirunnathaaraa??
mammootty: athu………..(thinking)……..ithu orumaathiri mattedathe answeraanu
salim: che njaanathu chodikkan paadillaayirunnu

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Bus stoppil ninna bussu kittum , full stoppil ninna fullu kittumo.. potte oru pintengilum kittumo???

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Hallo
Aarum pedikkanda… odikko…..!

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Arabikkadha
Somebody : woh kidhar gaya?
Salim Kumar : Kidharooooooooo gaya……….

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Arabikkadha
shumin: where’s mukun.tan
sk: enthu kundan??

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Thenkaashipattanam
Ishwaraa ivide aarum illalo ithonnu paranju chirikaan

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Thenkaashipattanam
Dileep : Mindaathiri!
Saleem : Saamoothiri namboothiri ennoke keetitundu…Ee mindaathri etha jaadi?(Serious)
Dileep : Parajnu tharaam….Dishhomm [Saleem in pain]
Saleem : Ohh…Sorr..Jaadi choothikhan paadillale!

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Thenkaashipattanam
When Lal gets admitted to the hospital
Suresh gopi : Evide?
Saleem : (In a sad tone) Athaayghraha vibhagatillaa!!!

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PACHAKUTHIRA
kazuthu varae perumbambu vizhinkyante thalayil aann chaviti ennu parnna polla aayye

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Rajamanikkam
Mammotty: nammal entreyum nallu pothu kachavadam cheythittu ithuvareyum stay onnum vannittillalooo…..
SK:Poothinte kaathil stayothiyitenta karyam????

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Salim Kumar : Ente aattukaal bhaskara
Dilip : anganeyum oru daivamundo ?
Salim Kumar : Itharam sandharbhangalil illatha daivathine polum vilichu pokum

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Ottakathe thottu kalikkaruth…Ottakam njangade desheeya pakshiyanu…Kettittilley ottaka pakshi…Buhuhahaha

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Ee Lekha…….
Ivalo Vanchana…. alla vanaja

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actor:(Tohis dad) Venda pappa.
Salim:O sarinte peru pappan ennano Ente perum pappan ennanu.Nice to meet u

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Thommanum makkalam
ee kadhina pottana kanumbo.. enikku ente achane orma varum…
ente achan oru vedikkettapakadathila marichathe.. (laughs)..entha cheyya..achante oru kaaryam


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Chocolate
ninte vishamam parayeda….
njangalonnu santhoshikkatte….

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Paandipada
dileep: Vandi speedil vidu
SK: Ippol thane vandi hanumaan gearil aa pogunne

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Ushnam Ushnena shanti krishna…..enn alle??
Ithu pudiye pazhancholla…. kazinja azicha release ayitte ullu…

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CHOCOLATE
“MAHALAKSHMI AUTO PIDICHU VARUMBO VAHANABANDHU PRAKYAPIKALEDA”..

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CHATHIKATHA CHANDU
Lal: Shhe!!! CUT.
Sk: Entha sir cut paranjathu, kooduthal nannayo?


Ee Dharmendrayude chila samayathulla COMEDY kettaal, chirichu chirichu kakshathu neeru varum… hu hu hu

Pulival kalyanam
Nammal Nalu perallathe moonnamathoral ethu ariyarythu. Nee vichal aval erangi varumo?.

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Dileep : Pani theernno
SK : Pani eppozhae theernnu..innale 12 manikku.. heart attack aayirunnu…
Dileep : Athalla, ninte pani theernno-nnu
SK : Pani theernna njaan ivide nikkumo, mookkil panji vecchu evideyenkilum poyi rest edukkoolle…


Thommanum makkalum
When Lal Mammooty & Rajan. P.Dev came 2 Tevar's house
SK tells 2 them
"Nigalkariyamo pandu kolum kulayumulla tharavatille avaasaanate kanniyaa njan epol kollillanee ullu baaki ellam undu
Njgal parampragathamai Gunda-kalla
ente acchan gundaa,amavan gunda,apuppan gunda
Enthinere parayunnu entee Bhariya vare aaa naattille ariyapedunna gundi yayirunnada gundi….."

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"ITHAVIDE, ITHATHINTE DHAPPURATH"

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" ITHA LADU LILEBI.."

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salim: ee manushyarokke janikkunnathinu munpu aadine(goat) theettichirunnathaaraa??
mammootty: athu………..(thinking)……..ithu orumaathiri mattedathe answeraanu
salim: (Senti) che njaanathu chodikkan paadillaayirunnu

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Thenkaashipattanam
Ishwaraa ivide aarum illalo ithonnu paranju chirikaan

Thenkaashipattanam
Dileep : Mindaathiri!
Saleem : Saamoothiri namboothiri ennoke keetitundu…Ee mindaathri etha jaadi?(Serious)
Dileep : Parajnu tharaam….Dishhomm [Saleem in pain]
Saleem : Ohh…Sorry..Jaadi choothikhan paadillale!


PACHAKUTHIRA
kazuthu varae perumbambu vizhinkyante thalayil aann chaviti ennu parnna polla aayye

Saving is Sin-- Spend :) Interesting Article on Economy Slowdown - Prof. Jagdish N Bhagwati

Japanese save a lot. They do not spend much. Also Japan exports far more than it imports. Has an annual trade surplus of over $100 billions. Yet Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing. Americans spend, save little. Also US import more than it exports. Has an annual trade deficit of over $400 billion. Yet, the American economy is considered strong and trusted to get stronger.

But where from do Americans get money to spend? They borrow from Japan, China and even India... Virtually others save for the US to spend. Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars. India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $50 billions in US securities. China has sunk over $160 billion in US securities. Japan's stakes in US securities is in trillions.

Result: The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world. So, as the world saves for the US, Americans spend freely. Today, to keep the US consumption going, that is for the US economy to work, other countries have to remit $180 billion every quarter, which is $2 billion a day, to the US! Otherwise the US economy would go for a six. So will the global economy. The result will be no different if US consumers begin consuming less.

A Chinese economist asked a neat question. Who has invested more, US in China, or China in US? The US has invested in China less than half of what China has invested in US. The same is the case with India... We have invested in US over $50 billion. But the US has invested less than $20 billion in India ... Why the world is after US?

The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save. In fact they use their credit cards to spend their future income. That the US spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US. So US imports more than what it exports year after year.

The result:

The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth. By its deepening culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to feed on US consumption. But as the US needs money to finance its consumption, the world provides the money. It's like a shopkeeper providing the money to a customer so that the customer keeps buying from the shop. If the customer will not buy, the shop won't have business, unless the shopkeeper funds him. The US is like the lucky customer. And the world is like the helpless shopkeeper financier. Who is America's biggest shopkeeper financier? Japan of course. Yet it's Japan which is regarded as weak. Modern economists complain that Japanese do not spend, so they do not grow. To force the Japanese to spend, the Japanese government exerted it self, reduced the savings rates, even charged the savers. Even then the Japanese did not spend (habits don't change, even with taxes, do they?). Their traditional postal savings alone is over $1.2 trillions, about three times the Indian GDP. Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan, has become its pain.

Hence, what is the lesson? That is, a nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not just spend, but borrow and spend. Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born economist in the US, told Manmohan Singh that Indians wastefully save. Ask them to spend, on imported cars and, seriously, even on cosmetics! This will put India on a growth curve.

"Saving is sin, and spending is virtue." Before you follow this neo economics, get some fools to save so that you can borrow from them and spend.

This is what US has successfully done in last few decades.

Professor Jagdish N Bhagwati

Columbia University

Department of Economics

Michael Phelps at a very young age - Rare Pic

Michael Phelps at a very young age :P

Little Johnny once again!!!

Little Johnny refused to eat.
  So his mother, in desperation, took him to the psychiatrist, who tried many methods, to no avail. The psychiatrist asked, "What would you like to eat?"
 
  "Worms" Little Johnny said.
  The psychiatrist was gleeful as he sent his nurse for cupful. Placing them on a plate, he said, "Here they are."
 
  "I want them fried" was the response.
 
  The nurse took them and had them fried. When presented with them, Little Johnny replied that he only desired one.
 
  The psychiatrist took one and in a strong voice said, "Here is only one. Now eat it."
 
  "I only want half and you eat the other" was the reply.
 
  The psychiatrist swallowed one half and gave the other to Little Johnny. Just then Little Johnny began to cry.
 
  The doctor asked what was wrong.
  Little Johnny said, "You ate my half!"

  

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http://the-malayalee.blogspot.com/

Magical frog !!!

Magical Frog !!!!!!

 

 

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
.
. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
.
. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant

. you
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. three wishes."
.
.
.
. The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed

. to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
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. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
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.
.
. The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be
.
. the most beautiful woman in the world.
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.
.
. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
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. Your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women

. will
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. flock to. "
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.
.
. The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
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. Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, -she's the most

. beautiful woman in the world!
.
. For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
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. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
.
. world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,

. "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
.
.
.
. So, -she's the richest woman in the world!
.
. The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
.
. like a mild heart attack."
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.
.
. Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them..
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.
.
. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
.
. here and continue feeling good.
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. Male readers: Please scroll down.
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. The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
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.
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. Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
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. smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
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.
.
. PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
.
. show that women never listen!
 

 

Frenzz !! it was juzz a joke k ... dunn tk dat seriously !!!

 

Lolzz... hehehehehe ...

 

Hope ya lykd it !! do reply...

 

 

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http://the-malayalee.blogspot.com/

No way I'm Breaking This One!!!

The sex fairy... The Sex Fairy This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I didn't change a word! I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy! 1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth. ============= 2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. ============= 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner. ============= 4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers! ============= 5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. ============= 6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! ============== 7 . Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. ============= 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. ============= 9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. ============= 10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. ============= This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The 'Hot Sex Fairy' will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on. If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price. Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in 5 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.    funny isn't it??